The Serenity Prayer

Writing is cathartic. It works for me. I am good with words. On bad days, this is what I do. I write. I write it out. If I can write it down, I don’t have to think about it any longer. Today was one of those days. You know, the kind of day that you know at any moment, it WILL get better because … well, how could it get worse,  but then it does get worse?? 

Yep, God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. 

 I must have said this ten thousand times today. Not in the "AA" sense of the meaning, but in the God I need your help today kind of way. 

 

Today, I woke up mad. I woke up mad about something that was completely out of my control. I woke up angry for something that I couldn’t fix…time can only fix it. I was just a GRUMP today. Here is how my day went:

I left my cell phone at home, which quickly threw me off. I left my ID badge at home – which I found out about halfway through the day that it was in my car.  My students were Uncharacteristically bothersome today. I promise that each one asked to go to the bathroom no less than 3 times each BEFORE we went to specials – at 9:20 a.m.. Three of them went AGAIN at Specials. They talked, and chose not to listen. They just couldn’t quite get it all under control today. I didn’t pack a lunch, so, I had to go get one. I had a dentist appointment – which was probably the highlight of my day. THEN, I pick up Noah who was also uncharacteristically cranky. I went to the grocery store. I thought, this could be my redeeming moment. I will buy Cullen’s favorite cake mix and make him a sweet little cake.…I cooked dinner. Cullen came home.. I started his cake backwards. I poured the cake mix before I noticed that I didn’t have eggs. Crucial. After dinner, I went to the grocery store alone. I prayed. I prayed out loud to make sure God heard me. I prayed for a better tomorrow. I prayed for peace. I prayed to see the light of this day. Then, one of my dearest girlfriends, Chyla calls me, and we talked. Gosh it was wonderful – but too quick. I get to the grocery store, still on the phone, buy the milk and head back home. I get about half-way home and realize I DIDN’T GO TO BUY MILK! I needed EGGS! SO, I heavily roll my eyes, turn back around, and go buy eggs. Knowing I can’t do it all, knowing my limit, I get off the phone. I check the eggs to make sure they are not cracked, and I drop my phone… it breaks into 7 pieces. SEVEN! I put it back together and it takes the whole trip back home to reboot. I prayed again. I prayed for this day to end, for God to hit reset. I prayed tomorrow is better than today (how could it not be??).  Okay, I begin the cake making process again… NO FRIGGIN VEGETABLE OIL. Are you kidding me??

I call my friend (and close neighbor) Taylor. She saves me. She puts vegetable oil out for me on her driveway. I drive there and back and start the cake for the THIRD time. {{no good deed ever goes unpunished!}}  Ugh.

So, here I am. It is 9:08. I have schoolwork to do…that I must do. All I WANT to do is go to sleep and start over. Press snooze and start over. Tomorrow WILL be better – It has to be better.

Good Lord, it must be better.

The funny thing is, this is not a bad day. Yes it is a bad day for ME. But, everything I wrote that happened today is not a bad day. It is a series of unfortunate events. AND, even on these bad days, I know God is watching over me. I know that God has filled my life with everything I need and want. Want to know the best part?? Even on the really bad days, I can find one of these two boys. Both have an uncanny ability to turn my frown into the warmest heart, and fullest smile.

January 26, 2012

So, here is to tomorrow NEEDING to be better. GOD GRANT ME THE STRENGTH…

Fuzzy Pictures.

Warning - this picture today is fuzzy. Last night, I met my dad in Andice to get Harley, his dog. We are keeping her for a few days, and Noah INSTANTLY fell in love. They both barked the entire 45 minute drive home.

Then when we got home, Noah sat in her bed, pulled over her dog bowl, and force fed her one...little....bite...at....a....time. Whether she is hungry or not.

She sat at Noah's door for a long time last night. It stole my heart.

While it is fuzzy - here is a picture from last night!

womp, womp.... no picture. Email won't let me save it. Growl. I will update it later.

Can You Fall Twice??

Because I just did. I just fell in love with my son all over again. While I am going to post the picture, I want to tell you just how much fun Noah has been lately. He is a whole new kiddo. Yes, he still prefers his daddy to me...any day, any time, any where. And Yes, I am super jealous of the two of them when we are all together. BUT, when it is just the two of us, he loves me; he likes me, and we are {temporarily} best friends. 

Today, we went to Belton to play with The Durbin clan. Oh boy, we had such a great time. We played at the coffee shop, fed the ducks and walked around. Noah and Kylie played with Kylie's kitchen back at her house, and generally had a wonderful morning. 

THEN, we went to Topsey Exotic Ranch, where we pet and fed zebras, a camel, mini-horses, 12,000 different types of deer, and several other animals. It was wonderful. Noah loved, hated managed to live through the experience... it wasn't until the very end of our trip that he really started to enjoy himself. And thank goodness he did, or it would have never produced this: 

I just love this child. It is possible to fall in love twice - with the same person, I just did.

C'mon...

Day ??, Jan 19, 2012!

I mean, really?! Does it get any cuter than this?? Are there words for this amount of cuteness??

Does many pictures = Many Days?

I have several pictures from yesterday.... so, I am hoping that makes up for my lack of progress the last many days. 

Noah shouting "Daaaaad!" through the fence at the softball game last night.

I caught myself saying to Noah a catch phrase that my mom said to me FREQUENTLY at my dad's ball games. "Get your fingers out of the fence. It is going to hurt when you get hit by a ball!"

It made my heart warm.

Mini-Me and his Dad

While we were at the Mayborn Museum this weekend, I snapped a picture of Noah and Cullen. I feel like, with the pictures I have seen, and what I can imagine, this picture of Noah is exactly what I think Cullen looked like as a small toddler. 

Aren't they a handsome bunch!??

Bubbles

Today, we met The Tappan Family in Waco at the Mayborn Museum for Aubrie's birthday! She turned two. We spent so much time roaming today...and eventually, we found ourselves in the room of bubbles. Noah had a blast. Here are the pictures from our big adventure! 

School Days, School Days.

Tonight's pictures were taken at Noah's CoCo's house this last weekend. For Christmas, Carol and Billy got Noah a desk. HE LOVES IT! This is him sitting at his desk, working. 

I mean, seriously, how much cuter do you get?? How could I possibly have another one, when I think Number One is so great!??!!?