The Serenity Prayer

Writing is cathartic. It works for me. I am good with words. On bad days, this is what I do. I write. I write it out. If I can write it down, I don’t have to think about it any longer. Today was one of those days. You know, the kind of day that you know at any moment, it WILL get better because … well, how could it get worse,  but then it does get worse?? 

Yep, God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. 

 I must have said this ten thousand times today. Not in the "AA" sense of the meaning, but in the God I need your help today kind of way. 

 

Today, I woke up mad. I woke up mad about something that was completely out of my control. I woke up angry for something that I couldn’t fix…time can only fix it. I was just a GRUMP today. Here is how my day went:

I left my cell phone at home, which quickly threw me off. I left my ID badge at home – which I found out about halfway through the day that it was in my car.  My students were Uncharacteristically bothersome today. I promise that each one asked to go to the bathroom no less than 3 times each BEFORE we went to specials – at 9:20 a.m.. Three of them went AGAIN at Specials. They talked, and chose not to listen. They just couldn’t quite get it all under control today. I didn’t pack a lunch, so, I had to go get one. I had a dentist appointment – which was probably the highlight of my day. THEN, I pick up Noah who was also uncharacteristically cranky. I went to the grocery store. I thought, this could be my redeeming moment. I will buy Cullen’s favorite cake mix and make him a sweet little cake.…I cooked dinner. Cullen came home.. I started his cake backwards. I poured the cake mix before I noticed that I didn’t have eggs. Crucial. After dinner, I went to the grocery store alone. I prayed. I prayed out loud to make sure God heard me. I prayed for a better tomorrow. I prayed for peace. I prayed to see the light of this day. Then, one of my dearest girlfriends, Chyla calls me, and we talked. Gosh it was wonderful – but too quick. I get to the grocery store, still on the phone, buy the milk and head back home. I get about half-way home and realize I DIDN’T GO TO BUY MILK! I needed EGGS! SO, I heavily roll my eyes, turn back around, and go buy eggs. Knowing I can’t do it all, knowing my limit, I get off the phone. I check the eggs to make sure they are not cracked, and I drop my phone… it breaks into 7 pieces. SEVEN! I put it back together and it takes the whole trip back home to reboot. I prayed again. I prayed for this day to end, for God to hit reset. I prayed tomorrow is better than today (how could it not be??).  Okay, I begin the cake making process again… NO FRIGGIN VEGETABLE OIL. Are you kidding me??

I call my friend (and close neighbor) Taylor. She saves me. She puts vegetable oil out for me on her driveway. I drive there and back and start the cake for the THIRD time. {{no good deed ever goes unpunished!}}  Ugh.

So, here I am. It is 9:08. I have schoolwork to do…that I must do. All I WANT to do is go to sleep and start over. Press snooze and start over. Tomorrow WILL be better – It has to be better.

Good Lord, it must be better.

The funny thing is, this is not a bad day. Yes it is a bad day for ME. But, everything I wrote that happened today is not a bad day. It is a series of unfortunate events. AND, even on these bad days, I know God is watching over me. I know that God has filled my life with everything I need and want. Want to know the best part?? Even on the really bad days, I can find one of these two boys. Both have an uncanny ability to turn my frown into the warmest heart, and fullest smile.

January 26, 2012

So, here is to tomorrow NEEDING to be better. GOD GRANT ME THE STRENGTH…